So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
