I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
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she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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