she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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