i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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