$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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