I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
