I didn't shave. On purpose
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
