i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
