Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
