Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That's intense
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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