Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
