She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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