I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize