And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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