I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
im holly from the hills drunk
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
