people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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