If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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