You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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