I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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