Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
