Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
