Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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