Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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