I have demons in me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
