I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
