Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
How does one acquire holy water?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
