she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
