I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
How does one acquire holy water?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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