Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
