we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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