In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
