Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize