Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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