You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
4 words: hood of his car
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
