He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
