my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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