WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
