I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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