You work out of a Hotel?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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