It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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