After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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