just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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