'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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