There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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