this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
