I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
