i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
