My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Girls should come with a carfax report
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
