my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
