and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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