Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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