Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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