i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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