I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
