it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
