remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
