Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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