I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
