The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
