you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
