I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
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Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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