I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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