:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
