'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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