I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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