Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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