Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
