he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"