she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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