I cockslap morals
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"