i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.