Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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