Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
