i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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