i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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